The Hatfield Bar
Where socials go to die
Hatfield bar can only take so much of your high quality banter so we are open at these times:
Had a hard day walking around Durham in your gilet and Hunter wellies pretending to study your bullshit degree? Want a place to chop pints while you tell your friends about your gap year to Cambodia or that time you saw the Pope in Rome? Come to Hatfield college bar for a night to remember (until you drink a nightender).
Clicking your fingers makes the bar staff move faster
The finest gentlelads
We allow plebs from other colleges into our bar so they can see what they could have had if they weren’t born into the wrong family (think of it as a charity thing). Don’t worry about offending them, just push them out of the way and click your fingers at the staff when you want to order (you have to assert dominance at every opportunity or they’ll think it’s acceptable to talk to you). After all, you’re better than they are.
Sorry, it's a bit shit but we try our best.
Betting on hill college street brawls was recently banned
While you’re at the bar, feel free to enjoy our facilities. There will be sport on TV with appropriate drinking games and a quiz machine to test how much you actually know (degrees only test how much red bull you need to shit out a 2000 word essay overnight). We also have a pool table which always has the same group of arseholes playing and a toastie bar in case your parents wouldn’t let you bring your butler to fetch food for you (life can be really tough).
Go orn, see it orff.
When we ring the last orders bell, it’s time for a non-optional nightender (Disclaimer: your night may or may not end after this beverage, it depends on how much of a massive lad you are). Get the lads together and drink this
unnecessary banterous mix of drinks which is actually 2 separate drinks and a shot balanced in a cup (but the shots drop so it’s fun). Seeing one off the fastest is the only way to show the world that you are the alpha of your crew. We used to offer a weekender but the university told us to stop. Durham used to be so much better when we did what we wanted to without any consequence. What’s that? It’s only a £30 fine for chundering everywhere? There’s 7 nights in a week, get drinking (it totally works like that). Next it’s off to Klute to show the world your sickest shapes and drink a quaddie of quaddies. Even that has changed recently (they’re still weirdly warm given the mixer came from the fridge and they have ice in them). I miss old Durham.
A true classic of Hatfield. The fabled ender of nights.
Obtain a plastic pint glass with half a pint of coke. Then using a double shot glass full of vodka and a plastic half pint glass half full of red bull, balance the shot glass and half pint glass inside the pint glass above the coke. Then, balance a shot of absinthe and a shot of Jägermeister above the red bull. To consume, take the shot of absinthe, down the Jägerbomb, and enjoy the V&C.
Our finest establishment's favourite beverage to serve. Now hindered by a local community that blames everything on the lads.
4 shots of vodka in half a pint of orange juice topped up with half a pint of cranberry juice.
The Final Frontier
There are other college bars in Durham but we do not recommend going to most of them. Some are full of former state school students who should really be down a mine. If you want to try a local pub, go to the Fighting Cocks. They love students and discussing how great Thatcher was over a martini.