“In the beginning, there were potatoes.”

- Popular Hatfield saying.

As a fully catered college, all members are entitled to three meals, high tea, and digestifs.

A good British English breakfast is normally served daily from 08:00 until 09:00. We apologise that we only serve filthy EU surrender monkey continental sustenance from 09:00 until 10:00, but really, if you’re up that late you’re probably not a rower and deserve it.

Luncheon is served from 11:45 until 14:00. While we have our top chefs rotating a menu filled with delights such as British beef (only the finest thoroughbreds), British salmon (pending Indy Ref 2.0 results), and British pigs (please do not play with your food), we are proud to serve potatoes and quinoa daily. We believe that it is important to have a safe foundation on which to build masterpieces. Our safe foundation is a tower of potatoes. Please see here for a full selection of Irish delicacies.

Dinner is served biweekly on Tuesdays and Fridays with northern supper served on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. As we are a normal colelge we ask all members to dress appropriately for the evening meals. Black tie is not required for northern supper, but gowns are compulsory at all times. Sometimes we engage in a charitable act by offering our kitchens to surrounding troubled colleges. We encourage you to dress more casually than you would be used to so that the other students do not realise how shit their lives are.

High Tea is served after golf but before Ramswiddle.

Digestifs are available in odd numbered rooms in the Melville Building but only every third room on the second floor. While you are in possession of your digestif, the third floor corridor is strictly out of bounds.

Keeper of the Digestifs

Keeper of the Digestifs

Vegetarian options are available at all mealtimes. To encourage efficiency in serving, we ask all the vegetarians to wear our homemade Veggie Hat. All of our hats are made from the best leather available and if you have an edgier diet requirement we can fashion you a hat to suit.

Example hat

Example hat

Due to recent inflictions with the local populace, we have regrettably had to introduce a requirement for all members to prove their entitlement to the Hatfield food. Signet rings, while acceptable, are ill advised due to the ease in which they can be stolen. Top banter is the most accepted proof. If someone is able to fake the top banter of Hatfield it is believed that they are a Hatfieldian at heart and thus should be served.

Our award winning top chefs have been awarded multiple awards and were even recently awarded their 2nd Michelin star. We hope that next award season they will be awarded more awards. If you would like to forward your encouragement please contact one of our organic food reps.